Nashville pre-marital advice: Use wedding planning to prepare for marriage
Monday, October 26, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Hopefully you didn't miss last week's Bound Together, a workshop for Nashville engaged couples. If you did, too bad:( because nurturing your relationship is ultra important. Don't fret - Marie (who hosted the workshop) is back today to share invaluable marriage tips. Brides love her! I recommend following her blog regularly because she is very insightful.
Guest Post: Marie McKinney-Oates, the founder of Nashville Marriage Studio
A couple months ago I joined the lovely Ashley, Liza (of Maiden to Married), and C.J. (of Williamson County Weddings and CJ's Off the Square) for the Unabridged Bride Workshop. At this workshop we each shared our various expertises on the wedding and marriage process.Confession: I did everything I could to avoid planning my own wedding. I'm not good at "pretty", so I basically told my mom to plan it all and I'd show up (hopefully) on time. Since I'm, essentially, a wedding planning virgin I fell completely in love with everything Ashley and C.J. shared that night. The thrill of working within a budget. The agony of picking a theme. The love and friendships that develop between a couple and their vendors. Can I do it all over again? Please? Unfortunately, I cannot. However, hearing their stories and advice helped me see how important the wedding planning process can be for a couple's married life. Your wedding is your first project together. This is the first time you guys are discussing how you, as a COUPLE, will be spending large amounts of money. It's also one of the first times you're making decisions as a team. The way you treat each other during the wedding planning process has the power to set the tone for the rest of your marriage. Wedding Values Liza, Nashville's very own bridal coach, stresses the importance of defining what's truly important to you before you even think about what color your bridesmaids are going to wear. Clarifying your values is the first step to avoiding those "freak out" moments that happen when a couple loses sight of the meaning of the entire day as a whole. Taking the time to really know who you are and what you want is one of the easiest and best ways to prepare for marriage. So many get married without knowing who they are as an individual and they end up depending on their new spouse for an identity. You know That Girl whose life revolves around her man? Don't be That Girl. Know who you are and what you want out of both your wedding and your life. Couple Decision Making Wedding planning is basically Couple Decision Making 101. You and your fiance will be faced with millions of wedding decisions that need to be made... together. This sounds cute in the beginning, but it gets old quick. Because what happens when you want a classy 3-piece band and he insists on a DJ. And the Chicken Dance. These moments during the wedding planning process where you're wondering how on earth he's going to make it out of this conversation alive (Seriously? The Chicken Dance?) are the times when you guys get to become an amazing couple.Amazing couples are always on the look out for "win/win" decisions. How can we both come out of this feeling like winners? Why is it important to have a classy band? Is having the DJ the important part, or is doing the Chicken Dance with his cousins what he's looking forward to? How can we both be happy? Couples that begin looking for win/win solutions early in the marriage will be winners in the end. Show me the money! Weddings and money are tough subjects to talk about. C.J. and Ashley both stressed the importance of talking about budgets and how much money is available long before you begin dreaming and planning. Even if you guys have been living together for years, how you two handle the wedding's finances is going to be a great indicator of what to expect as a married couple. How comfortable do you feel talking honestly about how much money is available? How well do you handle being told "no"? After listening to C.J. and Ashley I was reminded how important a budget is for dealing with your in-laws and parents as you plan your wedding. It's really difficult to tell family members no when they are wanting to invite friends from the office, or when they think it'd be great to have cheese sculptures made of all the grandparents. Setting up a budget in the beginning is a great way to turn down their suggestions ("Sorry, there just isn't any room in the budget for cheese sculptures. Darn!") without them taking it personally. They'll be upset with the budget rather than with you.The wedding planning process can be a great way to prepare for a successful marriage!
About the Author:
Ashley
Hey - I'm Ashley! I started AshleysBrideGuide.com to give Nashville brides or brides planning a Nashville wedding a local resource for inspiration and resources. Hope to see you at a bridal show soon! Happy Planning.
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Posted on October 26, 2009 |
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