Hindsight is 20/20. Even with all of the planning, it's hard to avoid the "wouldas" and "shoulda's". One way to minimize the regrets is to start with sound advice.
Today, we share a recent conversation held with Donald Yeager of Donald Yeager Photography. Our goal was to find out how you can keep from looking back with regret and really capture the details and memories you want to keep from your wedding day. Bookmark this post and refer to it as you interview wedding photographers and make your wedding photography decisions.
Finding Your Wedding Photographer 101: Expert Q&A with Donald Yeager Photography (www.donaldyeager.com/)
ABG: There are some brides who are a little more in-tune with what they like and know it when they see it. But for those who aren't sure, what's the best way to find and pick their photographer?
Donald Yeager Photography (DYP): In my opinion one of the most important aspects of wedding planning is the choice of a photographer, because once it’s all said and done the photography is what will remain forever to document the emotions and details of the day. That being said, no bride should rush into making this monumentous decision. I’d recommend that to begin, with brides should feel free to immerse themselves in wedding images. Blogs (like ABG, of course), magazines, websites, and et cetera are all excellent places to begin research.
While seeking out images, take actual notes of the images that you have an emotional reaction to (print them, bookmark them, cut them out and keep them in a binder) as this will help you to identify your own personal style. When you have a nice stack, look through them all and find the common denominator. Usually, one type of photography will stand out from the rest, and while most brides will have a bit of a mix, you will see some kind of majority forming in your favorites pile. For example, you may find that the majority of the images you like the best are documentary or photojournalistic in style, such as the first look between the bride and groom or the flower girl and ring bearer flirting. Or, you may be more drawn to images with post-processing artistry, such as added textures or color enhancement.
After you have established what you are drawn to, start seeking out photographers who present images that are harmonious with the style you love and schedule interviews.
So how many photographers should a bride interview? 3? 5?
I don’t believe there is a magic number to how many photographers you should decide you want to meet with. However, if the number is hovering around 10, I’d strongly suggest the bride re-examine her style and how that it is compatible with her selections. It can be really tempting for a bride to meet with ten photographers whose styles differ in hopes of identifying the style of photography she wants, but I find that generally counterproductive. In the least ideal situation, you may could end up hiring a photographer solely based on their personality, but later discover that their style doesn’t quite mesh with what you envisioned. This is an important decision, don’t rush it. It’s good to take time to evaluate, re-evaluate, and even if everything feels right at the meeting, to walk away and think on it before signing a contract.
Hiring: During the decision process, what are questions the bride & groom need to ask? How, from a photographer's perspective, would you like to be "selected" to be their photographer (chemistry? similar hobbies or interests?)
Bridals magazines, websites, and planners will give you an extensive list of specific questions to ask photographers like what coverage entails, packages, second shooter availability, ect. Since this information is widely available, I am going to recommend some different advice. Just spend some time with your photographer and get to know one another on a personal level. This will help you better judge if your personalities are compatible. Remember, you are hiring this person to follow you around on the most important day of your life. Wouldn’t it be better to hang out with someone you get along with and know personally than someone you don’t know at all?
DYP: The bride's family's roots are in Cuba, and she is very proud of that heritage. She used a book that was full of images from her family's native land as a guest book.
From a photographer’s perspective, the same rules hold true. The better I can get to know my clients personally, the more they are willing to show emotion and allow me to authentically capture their wedding. I love when I show up on a wedding day and I really know who my bride and groom truly are. It enables me to better capture each little nuance from the day; from a bride’s tattoo that her father has never seen...
... to the finally crafted homebrew beer that the groom spent months perfecting.
DYP: The bride took hours upon hours to hand-make each program. She wanted everyone's program to be a little different so she meticulously coordinated so that one program would not look identical to another.
ABG: We just love this ABG bag spotted behind the scenes at a Donald Yeager Photography wedding!
Once the contract ink has dried, how can the couple best work with a photographer to get everything in place for the big day and to make sure the wedding day itself is best captured?
I think that communication and honesty are key—if open communication exists from the get go, I feel that the bride and groom will be all the more comfortable with sharing their expectations and desires. If they are working with a wedding coordinator—a wonderful investment for any bride and groom to make—that professional can help facilitate the exchange of expectations. I always ask my couples if there are certain must have shots or locations that they’d like to see, and I’m always honest with them about the realities of timing and will not hesitate to let them know if something is not feasible.
DYP: This is an image of the bride and her son, Justin. We were getting a couple of shots of the bride and groom when all the sudden he wandered over and just wanted a hug from his happily married mother.
I try to be game for anything and everything, because being spontaneous and having fun usually produces the best shots. I also advise my couples to remember to be flexible with their day—know that things may go awry, things may not go to schedule, things might not be perfect—but with flexibility we’ll make sure that the very best moments are captured. Either way, it all comes down to trust and good communication on both ends, and that’s why starting, and keeping—a dialogue from the day we meet until after they marry is absolutely necessary.
The next picture is from after an epic engagement session - Ben and Amanda insisted that we head over to their house so they could make Ben's family world famous lasagna rolls!
Thanks for all of the honest and helpful advice! These are great pictures that examplify how finding the right photographer and establishing a good comaraderie with your photographer can really pay off.
For more gorgeous pics, visit Donald Yeager Photography and view his gallery. You'll also find more of his favorite pictures on his blog.
Today's my birthday!! As I celebrate my life I also am thankful for peace of mind, love of self and my wonderful friends in the bridal community. I also want to offer select Nashville brides my unique wedding story in hopes that it will help you in some way...
My Personal Wedding Story
Many years ago - I got engaged and married and had what I thought was cold feet. It wasn't cold feet. It was a gut feeling that something just wasnt right. I'd met an incredible man who loved me dearly, who "fit" my lifestyle and family and shared my values. He seemed to be all that I wanted and needed but something just wasnt right. We got engaged - he designed the most incredible proposal that included a spa day, a picnic in my favorite park and then an elegant dinner with friends to celebrate my saying yes.
But something still wasnt right. I hoped over time it would feel as right in my heart as it did in my head.
The wedding rehearsal was a nightmare - my dad could tell something was wrong. I knew that our connection was off but my fiance assured me that I was just nervous. I wanted to believe him.
We married and started our life. Then, the pressures of marriage arrived. A week after our honeymoon - he lost his income. His family's business went bankrupt. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Given our fragile (and doomed start) we werent strong enough to turn lemons into lemonade but we also didn't have the courage (months after our wedding) to face reality and walk away. Last year, we finally woke up and set one another free to have peace and find true love. Today, we have no regrets. We are both very happy and enjoy our lives. We were blessed with the most amicable divorce ever and still are friends.
Am I thankful for meeting a wonderful man that adored me who I adored? YES! Do I believe we should have ever married? Absolutely not. Had I possessed the courage then that I eventually found, I would have never said "i do". But, without marrying, I would have never started AshleysBrideGuide.com, which is THE BEST THING to ever happen to me! It is my baby, one that he encouraged and supported me to start. So, I am forever thankful to him.
But, the same doesnt have to be your story. If you have ANY doubt - take heed.
I know countless ABG brides who start their wedding planning as excited as every other bride but then wake up to their personal reality and the wedding is called off. I support them and am sooo proud of them. I know calling off a wedding is hard - probably one of the hardest things in life to do. But kudos to the women who were/are courageous enough to do so.
Many divorced women (like myself) were too afraid or confused to do so. Instead, we marry - feeling "cold feet" throughout the engagement and even on the wedding day. Instead of being runaway brides, we immerse ourselves in wedding planning instead of taking a step back to really assess the situation. That was my story and that's one of the reasons that I really want every Nashville bride to take a break from planning and rethink your engagement.
If you have no doubt that your fiance is truly the one for you, THANK GOD! Focus less on wedding planning and start having more fun, enjoy one another and strengthen your marital foundation.
But, for brides-to-be with doubt, take some time to really, really think - trust your gut, seek counsel and ask yourself the toughest decisions of your life.
Helpful "Cold Feet" Resources
1) Here is a great article for smart women who may find themselves walking down the wrong aisle, preparing to marry the wrong guy.
3) Marital counseling and education - Marie of Nashville Marriage Studio is one local counselor that is a good start for your conversation. Contact her to express your feelings and get clarity before you get married.
4) Ask your friends and family - they know you better than anyone and they either see the sparkle in your eyes or don't. Their honest and loving insight might help you see things more clearly.
5) On a lighter note - if you do find that you are engaged to the wrong guy - I Dump for You is a service that will call off your engagement for on $25. http://idump4u.com/
Also - I'm also celebrating our ABG being named BEST REGIONAL BRIDAL BLOG!!!! Thank you for your many votes. We are also a finalist in the BEST OVERALL BLOG. Please vote for us today and tomorrow as a birthday gift to me:). THANK YOU!
When I got married, I had also just started a new job. This isn’t something I recommend, least of all when planning a wedding halfway around the world as well as another wedding here in Nashville two weeks later. Shortly into the 6-month mark, I honestly thought I was going to go insane and the idea of eloping sounded better and better. I’m usually calm, usually a lot less freaked out by stress and I didn’t realize that with all the time I devoted to the planning, I neglected my own wellbeing and had put my Bikram yoga practice on hold. After one particularly arduous day, I had a breakdown and my wonderful fiancé (now husband) said, “Why don’t you go take a yoga class?”
That made such a difference.
Bikram yoga is one of the best things I do for myself on a regular basis and I am excited to be able to share with you today its most wonderful benefits that are going to help you maintain your sanity and (here’s the cherry on top) look and feel awesome for your big day.
Started by Bikram Choudhury and introduced to America in the 1970's, Bikram's Beginner Yoga Class is a sequence of 26 postures put together systematically for optimal benefits. The postures don't change, just your individual practice which gets stronger and deeper with each day. According to their website BikramYoga.com, Bikram yoga (popularly known also as "hot yoga") should always be practiced in a Bikram certified yoga studio by a qualified instructor who has undergone proper, strict training.
Lucky for us, we have an affiliated Bikram studio here in town. Bikram Cool Springs is run by Tennesse native Sandra Lee who has been teaching this yoga since getting certified in 2007. Sandra’s studio has classes everyday taught by her and her team of qualified instructors. "It's never too late, never too bad, and you're never too old or too sick to start from scratch" as Bikram likes to say. People of all ages practice Bikram yoga the world around and its longevity and popularity are due largely to the fact that it has such obvious, long-term benefits. Take it from me, you'll even see results after just a few classes - better posture, better focus and even your clothes fit better! It's pretty amazing!
The Thirty-Something Bride has been practicing BIkram yoga on and off since 2006 and told us, "It's the best 90 minutes a bride (or a groom) can spend on herself. While the heat might sound daunting - or even be a bit overwhelming for your first class, it's actually a wonderful thing! You don't need to be a yoga expect or guru or anything like that. Every class is a "new" class of flexibility and experience, regardless of how long one has practiced. You'll sleep better, eat better (it just happens!), feel better and stress just melts away. It's the best thing a person can do for their entire body, soul and psyche!"**
The 26 postures in a Bikram yoga class in a sequence that works and stretches every part of your body, head to toe, inside and out.
Now doesn't that sound exciting? "The best thing a person can do for their entire body, soul and psyche" pretty much sums up the mental, physical and emotional benefits you could get by treating yourself to a Bikram yoga class. I personally have been practicing Bikram yoga for seven years now, quitting the gym shortly after I started in 2003 and I have never looked back. One of the biggest benefits of this yoga is the mental clarity it brings. It has given me the ability to think clearly and concentrate on the moment instead of being all over the place and that really helped me manage my time better with the two weddings and new job.
Sandra explained why this is a common effect of the class: "You are given 90 minutes to focus on nothing but yourself. The yoga helps you tune in with how your body moves and feels and teaches you to stay in the moment. Even those who are still on their third or fourth class area amazed at what it does for their concentration because they are finally able to sleep well at night and wake up feeling refreshed."
This is also a great way to focus on yourself. "My students sometimes come in to treat themselves to 90 minutes of 'me time' before returning to real life." In the frenzy of wedding planning, it's so easy to lose yourself. We always stress that your wedding day needs to be more than the flowers, food and the guest list and that it needs to be about you so rewarding yourself with Bikram yoga just might be the thing you need to keep things sane!
Know what else is amazing about this yoga? You burn at least 600 calories in one class without the wear and tear you get from high-impact cardio exercise. At approximately 105 degrees fahrenheit (the heat is to aid in the detox and flexibility factor) the sequence of yoga poses you go through in 90 minutes will make you sweat, detox and burn. "Your heart rate is raised and lowered, as if you are doing intervals on a treadmill. You get a workout that will make you stronger, more flexbile, it cleanses your body and it makes you feel better overall. The weight loss part is a bonus." Sandra told me. Don't even worry about being in great shape to start, the point is to do this to get yourself in better overall shape. Sandra stressed that this class is at one level only and you don't need to have any yoga experience to know what you're doing "This is Bikram's Beginner Yoga Class and it's for all levels and all ages. You work to your ability and and the progress comes at the pace that's right for you."
In case you're wondering about how just doing yoga can build any sort of muscle tone, well, you should just take a look at Biikram himself. The man is well into his 60's and is in better shape than some guys half his age!
Bikram Choudhury teaching at one of his seminars. Sandra reassures me that the teachers do not ever stand on you in class.
But like Sandra said, the weight loss is a bonus. As a bride-to-be, it's the stress of planning that can get to you and that can distract you from what's important - you and your fiance and the life upon which you're about to embark together. I could go on and on and on about how great this yoga is but it's best to try it out for yourself. Maybe even bring your fiance and take classes together because it is a wonderful bonding experience and could take your engagement and marriage to an even greater level! Here's a video from Bikram Cool Springs with testimonials from their students. Enjoy, and I really hope you'll give it a shot soon - maybe I'll see you there sometime!
Ever consider having a wedding planning-free week? My challenge to every engaged couple is to take the week off and do nothing but focus on your relationship - no weddding planning. I know it's not easy - there's stuff to do - but give it a try. Try a date night or a wedding planning free zone, and have fun! Why? Many grooms have told me that they felt their relationship was put on hold after they proposed. Try your best to not let that happen. Stay focused on the purpose of the engagement - a period of bonding and growing. It's not all about the wedding but the marriage.
Marie of Nashville Marriage Studio is a Nashville premarital education counselor. She helps couples focus and strengthen their relationship. On Thursday, she is hosting a couples' game night to get Nashville engaged couples out and having fun! Please consider this fun outing as a great way to bond and to meet other Nashville couples who are equally in love...and stressed:).
Things happen. We all are usually pretty prepared for the fact that not everything will go exactly according to plan. There's no sense in letting little hiccups ruin your wedding day but you also need a solid contingency plan in place! Today's favorite blog post is by Genna who blogs for Chef's Market. The post lays out the reality of situations that could occur on your wedding reception and the best plans you could make to avoid them. This is a must read which why we just had to share it!
Summer is the one season that will unapologetically book your calendar with weddings months in advance. Plans on the fourth of July? Canceled. Your sister’s getting married on the beach. A weekend trip to your favorite vacation spot? Sorry, you’ve got MOH duties. The wedding fever epidemic hits every year between June and September and it’s no surprise why. Summer is a gorgeous time of year to be married and it’s the perfect season to celebrate outside. So if the sunshine, fresh flowers and extra daylight have you dreaming of skipping through a field to say ‘I Do’ you’ll want to sit down and create a strategy that will keep you from falling head over heels in the mud when it starts to rain on the big day! Read on for 10 things to consider when planning for an outdoor wedding reception:
1. Pick a menu that can stand up to the heat - if you’re getting married in July and you’re going to be eating at five o’clock there’s a good chance it’s going to be hot and humid while you’re guests are standing in the buffet line, so you want to serve food that will stay fresh. Think non mayonnaise based salads and things like poached salmon that are typically served at room temperature. Rice salads, such as our Wild Rice Orzo, are a great option as well.
2. Hire a caterer who knows their way around an outdoor reception – Catering outside has a lot more logistical kinks to work out than a typical indoor reception. Make sure your caterer will not only be able to get the set up down perfectly, but will also have no problem serving foods the way they’re supposed to be served ( keeping cold foods cold and hot foods hot).
3. Have a back up plan – Plan B is never ideal, but knowing you’ve got a safety net in case Plan A falls through is comforting and will keep you from stressing out if you have to switch gears on your wedding day and set the reception up inside the nearest building. Have a go to list of who will move what, how you’ll rearrange the tables, chairs, decor and food in case of emergency.
4. Rent a tent or have one on hold – if you’re banking on clear skies and have skipped #3 then you’re pretty much guaranteed to have nature tease you with rain, wind and whatever else she can come up with. OK, maybe that sounds harsh but haven’t you ever heard of Murphy’s Law??? The point here, is that it’s smart to at least have a tent on hold in case inclement weather does show up…and if it doesn’t? Well, spend the night dancing under the stars!
5. Provide lighting for the catering tent/food prep area – This sounds so simple, but it’s because it seems so obvious that many people forget until it’s too dark to see anything and you have servers dropping dishes. Make sure that any space where your caterer will be unloading/packing up the food is well lit.
6. Keep bottled water on hand – The last thing you want on your wedding day is for your grandmother to get heatstroke…bottled water is an easy way to make sure your guests stay cool and have as much fun at your reception as you had planning it. You can even make sure that necessary items like bottled water get their own personalized spin by creating monogrammed labels to fit around the bottles.
7. Beverage stations – Much like the bottled water, a beverage station will ensure that your guests have something cool to sip on while they eat dinner, mingle with friends and enjoy the reception. Beverage stations are perfect for an outdoor reception. At Chef’s Market, we love to use large apothecary jars filled with different colored lemonades and teas. You can place flower wreaths around the jars or add sliced fruit to give the drinks more color and flavor!
8. Air Conditioning/Fans are important – Whether you’re under a tent or under the sky, bring something to keep the air circulating as your reception gets underway. Rental companies often carry large industrial fans for just such occasions and if you’ve got a tent and your budget allows for it, you can actually have air conditioning set up for your celebration.
9. Bugs – It doesn’t matter where you are, if your reception will be outside you’ve got to consider the bug factor. Think about using citronella candles or providing bug spray for guests to use prior to hitting the dance floor. Another trick to keep pests away, is to wipe down tables and chairs with a wet cloth before setting them up for the reception (this will get rid of any food/drink residue that might be lingering on the surface).
10. Wind – With an outdoor reception, the first step is to accept that there will be some things you just cannot control, like the weather. You’ve got a tent on hold in case it rains right? Make sure you’ve got a plan for rain’s best friend named wind. Even with a tent, wind can sneak up under the sides and wreak havoc on table settings and food arrangements. The best way to deal with this possibility? Have decorative weights that can be placed on tables to hold everything in place. For a cute and simple DIY tutorial click here.
The bottom line when it comes to planning an outdoor wedding reception? Accept that it will be a little more challenging than a traditional ballroom or indoor venue and then go for it! If your heart’s set on having an outdoor celebration in the middle of August then there’s no question that that’s what you should have, just be a little strategic, prepare for the unexpected and enjoy your day!
Visit the Chef's Dish - the Chef's Market blog for more wonderful catering planning ideas and posts from the lovely Genna.
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