Seriously Dating, Engaged? Is Do It Yourself Pre-Marital Counseling Right for You?
Monday, December 10, 2012
Marie McKinney of Nashville Marriage Studio has turned her pre-marital coaching into an online marriage planning tool to help seriously dating, engaged, and married couples build a better marriage from the privacy of their homes, at their own pace and on their on schedule. Is virtual coaching a good route for you? It could be. When Marie first told me about DIY Marriage Plan, her new tool, I had a few questions, which she has kindly answered below to give you more details on how the online coaching works.
Over the weekend, I bumped into a friend who will soon be engaged and she mentioned that her boyfriend wasn't too keen on going to counseling, telling a stranger all of their business. He preferred to sit and talk together, discuss their plans, their goals, values, and make sure they are on the same page in their own way. I recommended that they consider Marie's DIY Marriage Plan to satisfy his desire for privacy and then maybe going to her pastor when he felt more comfortable and secure that they'd done some critical work on their own.
I also had a girlfriend who got engaged and she and her fiance lived in two different cities. They ultimately had to find a counselor who coached them via phone. It worked but an online tool might have also been a good complement to their phone counseling.
Only you and your guy can decide what's right for you, but I am definitely recommending the DIY Marriage Plan for those who are seriously dating because it will certainly help those folks determine if engagement/marriage is the right path well ahead of getting that shiny ring and announcing to the world that you are ready to wed, when you really might not be. Been there and done that!
For those already engaged or married, definitely get all of the counseling that you can - virtual, in person, in books - whatever it takes to build the best marriage that you possibly can. Invest in your marriage.
How does the DIY course work?
The couple will download the workbook, videos, and 6 one-page plans. At a pace and schedule that works for them, they'll work through the course. I think the best way to work through the course is to have a scheduled date night where the couple would watch the videos for that week (none are longer than 30 minutes) and complete the questions on the one-page plan together. Watching the video and completing the One-Pager together is a fun way to spend the evening and prepare for marriage. It easily fits into a regularly scheduled dinner and a movie date night.The workbook consists of over 100 pages of supplemental information. Depending on the amount of time a couple has, the workbook's activities help a couple create a more detailed marriage plan, and provide more in-depth information. The DIY Marriage Plan workbook will serve as a wonderful resource for any new marriage.
How soon should it be taken - when couples are talking about marriage/getting engaged or when engaged?
I believe this is best done while talking about marriage and getting engaged. It makes the proposal even sweeter, in my opinion. But it's actually great for engaged couples and even newlywed couples (couples married less than 2 years). So if you didn't get pre-marital preparation and wish you did, this is a great course.
What are some of the benefits of taking the DIY course?
I think the biggest benefit is confidence. After working through the DIY Marriage Plan you'll know that there isn't a single thing you haven't discussed. More than that, when you learn how to communicate and handle the conflict that typically comes with marriage you won't scare easy when an argument eventually happens.
In addition to confidence that you guys can handle anything, you'll learn TONS about yourself, each other, and your relationship. If you practice the communication skills you'll have a relationship filled with true communication; as in, he'll get you and you'll get him. You won't be afraid of hurting each other's feelings or having difficult conversations because you'll have learned how to talk about tough topics while still being loving, kind, and warm.
How does the unlimited email access work?
I believe that every couple is unique, and I want to make sure that online marriage prep makes room for a couple's unique needs. A couple will be given priority in my inbox. They can ask any questions, clarifications, or personally tailored advice, and I will provide an emailed answer in less than 24 hours.
What do the videos entail?
The videos are 15-30 minute talks from me. I felt it was important for couples to have a way to ingest the information that wasn't through reading since we all don't learn the same way. These talks also allow the couple to experience the information at the same time. I provide real-life examples of how I have seen these skills change my marriage and couples I've worked with. I also find that explaining the communication skills and conflict resolution tactics much more useful through video.
Bio: Marie McKinney Oates, MMFT, is a local relationship coach. She has helped couples get ready for marriage since 2008 and has now created The DIY Marriage Plan, an online course for engaged couples that want to get ready for marriage at their own pace, in their own home, and on their own schedules.
About the Author:
Ashley of Ashley's Bride Guide
Hey - I'm Ashley! I started AshleysBrideGuide.com to give Nashville brides, or folks planning a Nashville wedding, a local resource for inspiration and resources. Hope to see you at a bridal show soon! Happy Planning.
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Posted on December 10, 2012 |
Filed under: Advice & Planning, Engagements & Proposals
