Monday, January 21, 2008

Happy MLK Day! In honor of MLK, join me in being nice to a perfect stranger:) and be sure to check out the amazing Civil Rights Collection on display at the Nashville Library. It is a must-see.

Avoiding your wedding budget? You’re not alone. So many brides start planning without one.

Please take my word on this one - before you open a bridal magazine, attend another bridal show or sign a vendor contract - do the following:

1) What can you afford? Determine how much you and your fiance can comfortably spend on your wedding and honeymoon. Chat candidly because a lot of folks go into big debt planning a wedding and have no money for the important stuff. Imagine the problems that arise in the long run.

There was a bride who went to buy invitations and had no clue how much she could spend. So, she fell in love with a gorgeous wedding invitation that cost $10 per invitation. Days later, the very disappointed and embarrassed bride returned to the vendor and said, “what do you have for $2 per invitation?”. At that point, she couldnt be happy with any invitation in her budget. Dont stress yourself out by looking at Vera Wang dresses when youre on a Davids Bridal budget. You can find great wedding goodies in your budget but you will always be disappointed with you start outside your budget.

2) What will family contribute? If others are helping you finance your wedding, ask them early on how much they are comfortable contributing to your wedding budget. Have a honest conversation with them so everyone is on the same page and there are no surprises that could spoil your day, or your relationship. If you are not comfortable discussing money with them, get the courage because the longer you wait, the more potential problems. In fact, if you cant candidly discuss the financial aspect of the wedding with them, do not depend on their contribution as you plan. Believe me, if its hard to discuss money at the beginning stages, it will be even harder and to ask the week of your wedding after you have signed contracts based on their contribution. Ask now, dont assume and everyone will be happier in the long run. I know this first hand!

I knew a bride whose aunt was paying for her wedding. It was like 2 months before the date and she still didnt know how much she had available. Every time she hired a vendor, her aunt (the financer) was disappointed. Because the bride didnt really know and was afraid to ask, there was a lot of stress.

3) What’s important to you? Once you have a final budget, write a list of all the major items you’ll need for your big day. Rank each item in order of priority. My list looked something like this:

#1 - Dress, #2 - Cake, #3 - Photos, #4 - Invitations, #5 - Great reception venue, #6 - Good ceremony venue, #7 - Seated dinner…#48 - Wedding shoes, #49 - Favors, #50 - Transportation, #51 - Out of town guest baskets…and so on.

Once I compared my budget to my priorities, it was easier for me to determine how much I wanted to spend on each item. Based on my list of priorities, I decided that out of town baskets were not doable. I also hired a limo company that offered a one-way drop off to pick up me and John after the ceremony vs the entire wedding party. The car wasnt as important because because on our itinerary and logistics, no one would really see the car after the ceremony or before the reception.

Anyway, you get my point - start with what’s most important to you because no bride can have everything. Some of my girlfriends decided that photos were #1 and so instead of hiring a photographer and a videographer, they put all of their photo/video budget together and hired a killin’ photographer. I personally wish I’d done that too.

Bottom line - budget is critical! Set your immediately and stick to it.

A wedding planner can help you figure this sort of thing out. They have the experience and know how to set and maximize budgets. Not ready to contact a planner just yet? Email me and I can help! There are also some nifty resources listed below to help you get started.

Great article on setting and sticking to your budget

Budget organizer

Budget Q&A

Monday, October 8, 2007

When I got married last year, I was completely bombarded with “advice” and “etiquette”. My wedding day quickly went from what Ashley envisioned for herself to everyone’s “shoulds”…from my family to his family. I was even receiving century old wedding etiquette from English women who had nothing better to do than spend their time creating wedding rules. Somehow (even in death), they wanted to dictate the wording on my invitations, the outer envelope that was to “protect the interior contents” of my invitation , the color dress I should wear…it went on and on. You name it - someone had a “rule of thumb”.

Case in point - I went to a lovely stationery store to purchase thank you notes. There were so many rules. I was asked by the sales person (who was very well-meaning and helpful) who would be writing the thank you notes - me or him. Huh? What does that matter? Her response, “Men should not write on fold-over note-cards, only women. Men use flat cards for note writing.” Now, I am sure that all of you “etiquette” folks know this. But, I follow my own path and prefer logic to tradition, practicality to ritual. So, I picked out the cards that I liked the most - best value for style - and my fiance and I started our note writing. (To my gift givers who received a thank you card from him written on a fold-over t-note, hope you were not offended and if so what’s the protocol for that?)

Don’t get me wrong, if you are a traditional, classic person - by all means, follow tradition. But if you aren’t, and you are a looking funky, eclectic, contemporary, or otherwise independent thinking…do what expresses you. Do you! Write your own wedding manual. Follow the beat of your own drum.

In fact, I am so happy to see the multitude of women choosing to break the mold. From the Offbeat Bride to the Anti-Bride (check out my bookstore for their books), brides are rethinking weddings. What a welcomed relief! (Note - when you hire a wedding planner (or any vendor for that matter), be sure he/she supports your philosophy and isn’t interested in suppressing your uniqueness. Lindsey of A Bride Idea is very flexible and offers a fresh approach to planning. She can be ultra-conservative or super mod. She wants to deliver your day, your way.)

At the end of your big day, your happiness and that of your fiance, is all that should matter. Set a budget, determine what’s important to you and stick with it.