Monday, October 8, 2007

When I got married last year, I was completely bombarded with “advice” and “etiquette”. My wedding day quickly went from what Ashley envisioned for herself to everyone’s “shoulds”…from my family to his family. I was even receiving century old wedding etiquette from English women who had nothing better to do than spend their time creating wedding rules. Somehow (even in death), they wanted to dictate the wording on my invitations, the outer envelope that was to “protect the interior contents” of my invitation , the color dress I should wear…it went on and on. You name it - someone had a “rule of thumb”.

Case in point - I went to a lovely stationery store to purchase thank you notes. There were so many rules. I was asked by the sales person (who was very well-meaning and helpful) who would be writing the thank you notes - me or him. Huh? What does that matter? Her response, “Men should not write on fold-over note-cards, only women. Men use flat cards for note writing.” Now, I am sure that all of you “etiquette” folks know this. But, I follow my own path and prefer logic to tradition, practicality to ritual. So, I picked out the cards that I liked the most - best value for style - and my fiance and I started our note writing. (To my gift givers who received a thank you card from him written on a fold-over t-note, hope you were not offended and if so what’s the protocol for that?)

Don’t get me wrong, if you are a traditional, classic person - by all means, follow tradition. But if you aren’t, and you are a looking funky, eclectic, contemporary, or otherwise independent thinking…do what expresses you. Do you! Write your own wedding manual. Follow the beat of your own drum.

In fact, I am so happy to see the multitude of women choosing to break the mold. From the Offbeat Bride to the Anti-Bride (check out my bookstore for their books), brides are rethinking weddings. What a welcomed relief! (Note - when you hire a wedding planner (or any vendor for that matter), be sure he/she supports your philosophy and isn’t interested in suppressing your uniqueness. Lindsey of A Bride Idea is very flexible and offers a fresh approach to planning. She can be ultra-conservative or super mod. She wants to deliver your day, your way.)

At the end of your big day, your happiness and that of your fiance, is all that should matter. Set a budget, determine what’s important to you and stick with it.